March 15, 2006

I think the hardest thing for Gam is taking the independence she’s had all her life and then changing it. For her, any alteration of the way her house is means giving up. She will not listen to reason or accept that we are trying so hard to help her so she can physically have the same quality of life as she had before.

Last night Gam didn’t sleep but maybe a half hour at a time. She tossed and turned. I woke up later than usual this morning to find her eating an egg and toast for breakfast. She’s convinced she can be completely independent as she was before. I tried to tell her that she needs to watch her diet – low fat and sodium. Later that morning Keoki called and we talked a little. Apparently she called him this morning telling him she felt frisky. I mentioned that she fell the night before and started bleeding. She didn’t call me to let me know she fell – I just discovered she was bleeding when I checked on her in the bedroom. It was pretty scary. When I tried to bandage her up – she nearly refused my help and said she could take care of herself.

The morning took a turn for the worse when Keoki called her and then they argued. She in turn directed her anger toward me – asking why I told him she fell and if I had also told him I went on a bicycle ride. She’s still pissed at me. I know it’s nothing personal – she’s just having a difficult time with mentally excepting what happened.

George showed up today – and while I was picking him up I honestly felt guilty for being away from her for too long. TTYL